Many people are in toxic relationships without even realizing it. It's such a gradual process in most cases, that by the time the person involved realizes it, they have already lost everything.
Most toxic relationships follow the same pattern. Manipulation, possession, jealousy, abuse, control, and isolation are the key factors to look out for.
Manipulation
There are many ways to be manipulated in a relationship. Some cases are very subtle, like making you feel guilty because you didn't want to go watch a certain movie with your partner, or you didn't want to go out to dinner. Some cases are very obvious, where whatever reason you give for not doing something gets turned around and made into a weapon against you. Or where you are constantly called stupid and told no one else will ever be able to love you the way they do, to such a degree that you start to believe it. When you are troubled or feeling anything other than what they want you to feel, or that takes the focus off of them for a while, they will also hold that against you, and constantly bring it up to show you why you don't really care for them. Making you feel bad for wanting something other than what they want, or making you feel like only they can love you, are just 2 common examples of the many forms manipulation can take in a relationship.
2.Possession
Possession and jealousy are two points that are tied together very closely. There are many relationships where possession is blatantly on display. One of the most common examples is when your partner says you are not allowed to talk to any of your friends from the opposite/same sex, because you are with them now, and it will not be tolerated. And then they actively start to interfere with all your activities, while making it clear to everyone around you that they are not to be in contact with you, because if they are there will be hell to pay.
3. Jealousy
Jealousy walks hand in hand with possession, because these two are often born out of one another. Whether jealousy from possession, or possession from jealousy, it does not matter. This usually shows itself in fights and arguments between you and your partner whenever you would like to go visit a friend. Or when you have to do some work with a member of the opposite/same sex, even though you have no control over it. Any action where you are in the presence of someone else, whether your partner is with you or not, and conversation or anything "untoward" happens, your partner will turn this into a fight when no longer in their presence. Sometimes that does not matter. But while your partner is giving you trouble about having coffee with a friend, it is ok for them to do whatever they want, however long they want, and with whoever they want, and there is nothing you can do about it.
4. Abuse
Abuse can take many many forms, but it is usually classified into four groups. Mental abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, and sexual abuse. Toxic relationships usually contain a combination of them. Mental abuse by constantly breaking you down. Emotional abuse by constantly making you feel guilty for wanting, doing, or feeling something other than what they want. Physical abuse in many forms just because they want to show you who is really in charge in the relationship. And sexual abuse either in the context of forcing sex on you when you don't really want it (aka rape), or in order to keep you with them as long as possible so that you don't do something they don't want you to, or to keep attention focused on themselves. All of these can also be used as a "test" to see if the relationship is going to work for them, or if they have to break it off because they don't get any satisfaction from it.
5. Control
Control in a toxic relationship comes in many ways. They manipulate you by means of their jealousy, possession, and abuse in order to break you down and turn you into what they want you to be. This means that at they end of the day, they have full control in the relationship, and that you are just a puppet that does whatever they want you to do. And in most cases, this happens so slowly and subtly that most people in this situation don't even realize what's happening.
6. Isolation
In many cases of toxic relationships, the end goal is always the same. Isolation. This means tat you literally have no one in your life, except for them. They will have separated you from your friends, from your family, and from everyone who has cared for you. You will be dependent on them for every need you have, Whether physical, emotional, or mental support is required, you will have no one other than them to turn to.
Many of these relationships never end. No matter what your partner does, or how they act towards you, at the end of the day you will always end up going back to them, because you believe that you truly love them and that you don't need anyone other than them. This mindset is created by a combination of all of the above factors. In most cases, your partner does claim to love you, and the bad days are interspersed with absolutely wonderful days, but it always ends up bad again. The toxicity always starts to show itself.
You convince yourself that this is not how they truly are, because you look at your happy days, and all those wonderful beautiful moments, but when the bad and absolutely horrible days, where you feel so lost and alone and abused in any way that you cannot possible see the light ends up outweighing the good days by far? Then the only thing you can do for your own mental, emotional, and physical health is to leave. You will not be able to change this person. This is an intrinsic part of their personality, and no matter how hard you try, you will always be the one that ends up apologizing, in pain, or so completely lost that you can't find yourself again.
Relationships like these have caused thousands of people to take their own lives in an act of desperation, or through negligence. If you feel that you are in a toxic relationship, and you can no longer walk away or cut ties with your partner, please click the following links to Destroy Depression and Online Therapy. These are great sites with plenty of resources in order to help you.
https://www.online-therapy.com/?ref=271714
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